Reception
Happenings
If there will be a long delay between the time
the ceremony is over and when the wedding party is able to arrive
at the reception, have someone at the reception site to greet the
guests and offer them drinks. They can go through the receiving
line when you arrive.
If you do have a receiving line you may want
to arrange it. The bride's mother, as official hostess, should
always be the first person in the line. If the bride has no
mother, an aunt or grandmother can serve as hostess. Neither
father has to stand in line. The bridesmaids are also optional.
If they do stand in the line, they should position themselves
after the maid or matron of honor. The best man does not stand in
the line.
THE BRIDE'S TABLE
When there is a sit down wedding breakfast, luncheon or dinner,
the sitting can be arranged in this way.
As a rule, only the bridal party
is seated at the bride's table, although husbands and wives of
attendants may be included if there is room. The bride and groom
sit next to each other the bride on the right. It is customary
that the bride and groom be served even if guests serve
themselves at a buffet table. Place cards are necessary only on
the bride's table and parent's table if you use them at all, I
hey could be used on all tables but that entails a lot of work
and isn't necessary. The wedding cake may be centered on your
table or on a separate table just for that purpose.
At a stand-up reception, it is thoughtful to
have a few tables at the sides and in the corners for older
people.
THE PARENTS' TABLE
The parents of the bride and groom and other members of the
intimate family, the minister and his wife, are seated at a
separate table nearby.
TOASTS AT THE RECEPTION
The best man offers the toasts during the reception, usually
during the dinner or just after the cutting of the cake.
The toast may be very brief, "To Johnny
and Betty, may they always be as happy as they are today"
This first toast may be followed by the groom who can propose a
toast for the bride's family. They the groom's father might
follow and so forth but the best man's toast is sufficient. At a
very formal wedding, the best man may make all the formal
introductions of the different families and relatives and the
best man also acts as a master of ceremonies for the rest of the
night if the event calls for it. He also reads any telegrams you
may have received.
Preparing A Wedding Toast
THE WEDDING CAKE
The cutting of the wedding cake is always a highlight of the
reception. It is traditional for the bride and groom to cut the
first piece of cake together.
The feeding of a piece of cake to each other
is usually customary but it is optional. I prefer this be done
with dignity rather than smashing the cake on each other. I could
never find tile humor in that although I suppose some people find
certain types of aggression funny.
A toast to each other could follow.
DANCING
When there is dancing at a reception, by tradition, the bride and
groom dance the first dance alone for the first few minutes. Then
the bride's father cuts in on the groom to dance with t he bride,
and the groom dances with the bride's mother. Fourth, the groom s
parents come to the floor, and the groom's father dances with the
bride. Fifth, the bride's father cuts in on the groom and dances
with his wife. Sixth, the groom then dances with his mother.
Seventh, your parents exchange dances with the groom's parents.
Eighth, the best man dances with the bride. Ninth, the groom
dances with the maid of honor. Finally, the wedding party -
bridesmaids and ushers - join on the dance floor. Then the whole
wedding party is on the dance floor, the other guests are invited
to dance.
Certain ethnic cultures have very interesting
customs. Some offer a "money" dance where the bride and
groom dance with relatives and friends while money is pinned on
them as a sign of prosperity. Some customs offer a rich heritage
of folk dances. There is one custom that places a groom and bride
in chairs and the chairs are lifted by friends and carried
throughout the reception hall.
The important thing is that you enjoy your
day. It is in your honor. People are there to see you happy.
THE GUEST BOOK TABLE
An elegant and traditional touch to any reception is the guest
book table. This can be a little table decorated with a candle or
a little greenery or bows, with chairs for the guest book
attendants. The attendant can offer each guest the pen to sign
the book.
THE TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET
AND GARTER AND GOING AWAY
In 14th Century France, it was considered a lucky omen to catch
the bride's garter. Everyone fought so hard for it that
occasionally someone got hurt in the scuffle for the garter at
the end of the ceremony. In order to prevent a mad rush and
scramble, the bride began to throw the garter to the people.
Tossing the garter soon led to the custom of "stocking
throwing@' until brides decided against a custom they considered
undignified and embarrassing. Instead, they threw their bouquets,
a custom that is done today. Tradition holds that the person who
catches the bouquet may be the next bride. If you have someone in
mind who you want to catch the flowers, you can face the group
and take careful aim. Otherwise you toss the bouquet over your
shoulder and leave it to fate. Sometimes a special smaller
bouquet is provided for this custom so the bride can keep her
bridal bouquet.
It is the tradition today that the groom
removes and throws the garter to all the unmarried men and the
bride tosses her bouquet to all the unwed girls.
If you are going to change into your
going-away outfit, plan to have someone (your mother or maid of
honor) assist you.
When you and your husband are ready to leave,
try to take a few minutes to say goodbye to your parents and
attendants and thank them for helping make your wedding day.
In the Orient, rice means "May you always
have a full pantry,' and a red slipper thrown on the roof of a
house indicates that a honeymoon is in progress. Among early
Hebrews, sandals were often given as evidence of good faith in an
exchange of property.
There was a time when old shoes were also
thrown at a bride. The shoe was a symbol of possession and
authority. When a girl married, her father gave her old shoes to
the groom to signify that authority over her was now transferred
to him.
The custom of throwing rice and shoes after
the couple has now lost its original significance and the
throwing of rice and tying of shoes to the back of the couple's
car remain only as symbols of good luck.
The shoes are rapidly fading as a custom but
the rice is still thrown. Some couples use rose petals, confetti
or bird seeds as a substitute.
It is a good idea to have the best man prepare
the car for departure after making sure that everything is packed
away and in order. When you're ready to leave, the guests form
two lines and the couple runs through a hail of rice to their
waiting car.
In ancient Rome, the doorstep or threshold was
the domain of Vesta, goddess of the hearth, who is associated
with virgins. In respect to the goddess and to protect the bride
from the evil spirits that hovered about the house, she was
carried over the threshold of her new home. This custom is still
done today.
Some couples adapt many of the customs from
other lands to their weddings. In Europe, couples ride to and
from church in horse-drawn carriages decorated with flowers and
ribbons. In England, bells peal as the bride enters the church to
be married and again as she leaves it with her husband. In
Bermuda, the couple plants a small tree to grow with the
marriage.
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